This guide is for the 16.5% of players who have not chopped down a tree.
Teaches you to chop down a tree.
- Press “Single Player” In the main menu.
- On the bottom of your screen, there is a button that says “New”
- You will see a menu you can use to create your character. Click randomly until you are satisfied with your player.
- Go ahead and hit “Create”.
- Sometimes there will be a silly little pop up that forces to name your character. press buttons on your keyboard and letters will magically appear. Then, go ahead and hit “Submit”.
- You will now see a no longer empty list of players. Find a green triangle and push it.
- Select a player if you haven’t already.
- Press the button on the bottom of your screen that says “New”. A world creation menu tab will pop up.
- To choose a name for your world, press the button with the sign on it exactly twelve times, or until the word “Hands” is shown.
- Click a bunch of random buttons until the picture on the top-right of the menu tab looks rad enough.
- Press “Create”
- A bunch of weird lines will infest your screen. Wait a couple minutes for them to go away.
- Find a green triangle and select it.
- Join a world that deserves to have one less tree if you haven’t already
- Equip an axe by pressing an axe in your inventory
- Here comes the hard part!
- Press the A or D key and the space bar occasionally until you are next to a tree
- Hover your mouse over the base of the tree
- Your heart pounding, press your left mouse button down
- As your axe swing violently, remember all the random clicks, battery power, and low resolution images it took to get you here
- POP! Branches break, acorns fall, and wood lands in your inventory. By golly, you’ve done it!
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