Tin Can: How NOT to Die (Beginners’ Guide)

This is the first guide I’ve ever written. It’s not pretty. It’s not neat. It may never be finished. At time of writing it’s the only one you’ve got.

 

Basic Instructions
The Important Things to Remember

1. You’re already dead.
This is a two man escape pod with a comically inefficient gas exchange system, heating provided by a barely stable nuclear reactor and no food or water supplies. Oh also you’re in space, which is a pretty big place where things tend to disappear. The designers of this escape pod were not simply negligent, they were actively engaged in making sure you didn’t report the terrible “accident” that lead to the destruction of you curiously over-insured starship. Might as well set yourself the goal to survive as long as possible.

2. RTFM
Read the manual, know what all the bits do and what happens when they stop doing it.

3. If it’s not useful, it’s scrap.
Cannibalise the least important things for parts as soon as you realise you don’t need them. Those warning alarms on the master computer? Feed them into the repair machine. The electrical parts for the main lighting rig? Those are spares now. The caution alarms on the life support systems? into the hopper. As long as the buzzers are working, you don’t need blinky lights to tell you something is broken.

4. You are the most dangerous thing in the pod.
Keep your hands to yourself and don’t mess with anything that’s not actively broken. If you’re not in the middle of an active disaster OR in the middle of an asteroid field, you should hold onto something. The pods components can take some jostling, they cannot take your lardy arse bouncing off of them. The off switches are your friend also. Don’t grab at electrical bits when they’re on.

The First Minute
Here is what to do in the first quiet minute to give yourself the best chance of survival.
1. Rip apart the main lighting system.
Turn it off first.
Feed the on/off switch and the power transfer module into the parts chipper, toss the fuse and power regulator on the floor

2. Switch out the O2/CO2 Cans.
The ones in there are half full, chop them out now to buy yourself more time

3. Pull out all the caution lights
Pull all the yellow caution lights out of every system and the master warning light out of the computer. Feed as many into the parts chipper as you can, toss the harvested parts on the bed.

4. GRAB ON TO SOMETHING
The first asteroid storm is on its way, as previously mentioned, if you are unsecured you might go flying into something delicate and break it. That’s BAD!

Asteroids
1. Hold on to something
Grab something and wait for it to be over.

2. Make Repairs as needed
You should have plenty of parts to make repairs. Focus on your gas systems first. Broken batteries take priority.

Freezing Nebula
1. Pull the batteries from non-essential systems
For our purposes, this means gravity, the main computer and the repair system.
Shut off all lights and work with your flashlight. Shut off temperature control until the screen starts to fog.

2. Wait it out
Monitor battery levels in O2, CO2 and the Gas Exchanger. The battery charger should still work at this stage. Once this event is over, charge all the batteries you can and start moving QUICKLY to prepare for the Electrical Nebula.

Electrical Nebula
1. Shut off the power to all essential systems
Start with the Power Generator, then the gas systems, then the battery charger, then the repair system, then everything else as fast as you can.

2. Pull the power transfers
Pull the power transfer units from all systems. It’s probable you won’t have any gravity right now so try not to lose them.

Related Posts:

Post Author: Robins Chew

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *